"To live is to be marked. To live is to change." The Poisonwood Bible

People always ask me to tell them about my life in Africa. And I usually have the same response….I just can’t explain it in words. I fumble over my words realizing I cannot give the experience justice. I have read countless books on the subject of Africa, and there is one thought that is often mentioned. Africa changes you. It is an undeniable fact if you spend any considerable amount of time here. Whether you love it or hate it, it gets in your blood and changes the way you perceive the world. It changes the way you view people and the way you view God.
Today is the anniversary of me being in Africa for one year. One year has flown by. It has changed me beyond what I can even describe, but I will try. At first, of course, everything seems so foreign. But just like everything in life, you learn to adjust. And then one day you wake up and realize that it is just normal. So now this foreign land of Rwanda is my reality.

I have also read that there is something about Africa that brings you to life. The natural breathtaking beauty of the land; the brilliant white smiles of the people that greet you every morning; the vivacious colors of the fabrics, art, and culture; the energy of the traditional dance and the power in the beat of the drums; the hustle and bustle of the thousands of people walking the streets of town and working the local shops; the welcome open arms of friends who take you into their home as their own family; the various smells and sounds of the chaotic but lively market; the grand volcanoes that tower over the untouched terrain; the contentment in a leisure afternoon tea and rich conversation with a friend, not constrained by time limits; the joy and sparkle in the eyes of a beautiful child untainted by the desire for earthly possessions; the thrill of riding on the back of a motorcycle through a lush mountainous land; the hope of a young boy who has a fearless determination to change the world; the strength of a country to move past their dark history and into a bright future… these are the things that bring me to life in Africa. The people enjoy life not for the possessions they may obtain or the ladders they may climb, but just for the simple fact that there is a life to be lived. There is such a raw beauty about this continent. It is simple yet profound. Life presents a new adventure every day.

But Africa, as we all well know, is not all joy and color and beauty and contentment. It is a continent that has suffered greatly for many years. Suffering beyond what most of us can imagine. Rwanda, in particular, is a place where pain and horror are familiar acquaintances of the people. It is a place where millions of children still bear hunger pains everyday and where easily treatable diseases claim the lives of innocent people everyday.

One of the hardest things for me to find is my response to this all. I wish I could say that I am always perfectly compassionate and respond in the most sensitive and appropriate ways. However, there are days when I am completely annoyed by the beggar who follows me around town wanting my change, days when I feel overwhelmingly guilty that I have white skin and was born into a family of privilege in the United States of America, days where I am extremely infuriated by the social injustices of this world, and days where I am just hopelessly heartbroken by the devastating need around me. But each day, just like in the US, I have to choose to face the day. No matter what I may be feeling that day, I have to get out of bed and face the challenges. Whether that is facing the boy on the streets who shows up at my house every morning because he has no one else to turn to, a student who is suffering from severe post-traumatic stress from the horrendous memories of watching her parents die 16 years ago in a genocide, or a 5 year old orphaned girl who was born with AIDS and will never know the love of her mother… I can’t any longer just pretend these things don’t exist or that they only exist in a far away land. They are reality. They are here at my doorstep, and I must face them head-on.

But each day as I face these challenges, I also feel blessed beyond belief. There are countless stories of hope and success. There are people who have rocked my world teaching me about the capabilities of the human heart and the limitless boundaries of the human strength. There are instances everyday where my faith is strengthened through a simple conversation and where I am awestruck by the beauty of the scenery that surrounds me. The bubble of my narrow world has been burst, and I now relish in the freedom that comes from escaping a life of comfort, security, and familiarity. I came to Africa with an overwhelming sense of needing to save the world and these poor children of Africa. Oh, how wrong I was in my thinking. Now I know that God does not need me to be in Africa, but rather I need to be here.

And so I can no longer go through life overlooking the simple joys and abundant blessings OR ignoring the disturbing injustices and cruelties of this world. I must face both realities and gracefully learn to balance the two. And so here I am, this white skinned, blonde haired Southern belle in a foreign land learning to do just that.

So that is how I can sum up my year in Africa. It has changed me.